What Was That Scary Noise?

“What was that noise?” I said.

“What noise?” answered Mr. H.

Listening quietly until I heard it again, I said, “There! That scary noise!”

“I don’t hear a thing,” said Mr. H.

Turning on my side, I decided I must be imagining things. It was 3 a.m. and we needed sleep. Surely it was nothing threatening or he’d hear it, too.

The room was as quiet as a tomb and there was not a sound outside. No cars or train whistles or wind or rain. Total silence. A perfect time to sleep! But just when I was about to drift off, there it was again – louder than ever.

Flipping over on my back, I elbowed Mr. H and said, “I know you heard it that time!” And before he could answer, it happened again.

But that time, it was obvious. We both knew what it was and broke into irrepressible laughter.

And Mr. H. took great pleasure in saying, “That scary noise you’ve been hearing is your stomach growling!”

Don't you just love making a fool of yourself? 

 

The Downhill Side

Celebrations.

I have nothing against them, but when you have as many as my family does, you get a little bogged down and almost dread the next one.

We’re a large family. Starting in February, we have at least one birthday every month until November. Some months have two, November has three and June has four plus Father’s Day.

And then, of course, December brings the biggest and most important celebration of all. Everyone celebrates that. At least, everyone I know.

So it seems we’re celebrating every month of the year except January. We really look forward to that month! We desperately need it to recover from all the celebrations—to rest up so we can start all over again in February.

June – our worst month – is the half-way point. We had a birthday get-together this evening for our eldest son. That made two birthdays and Father’s Day behind us. We have two more birthdays before the month is over and then we’ll be on the downhill side.

Now that might be a reason to celebrate!
                                              

 

A Piece of Cake

Twice a year, the church I attend hosts a Red Cross Blood Drive. For the past two years (four times), I have been recruited to work during the five hour drive – checking people in or making sure they eat and drink something after they give blood. Most of the workers attend the church, but a few don’t. At any rate, everyone knows everyone else and we have a good time.

I worked one of those drives today. In a quiet moment, I couldn’t help thinking about the first time I gave blood. And the second.

My first time went smoothly. I was in and out in no time, without a hitch. So, when the opportunity arose again, I wasn’t the least bit nervous about it and invited my young daughter, about 20 at the time, to go along and do a good thing also.  She went – reluctantly.

Because she was so nervous and afraid, and I feared she’d back out, I kept telling her there was nothing to it. “A piece of cake!” I said.

We both passed the little test that is given before they allow you to give blood. And, after answering a lot of questions, we were each instructed to lie on a table and were readied for the blood to be drawn. We were only about four feet apart and I could tell she was getting more nervous by the second. I kept saying things like, “It’s no big deal.”

“Doesn’t hurt a bit. There’s nothing to it.”

Once we were both hooked up and the blood was leaving our bodies and going through a small tube into a plastic bag, she began to relax. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, feeling better about her.

But guess what?

I began to feel queasy!  Dizzy!  Hot!  The room was spinning and I was sure I was going to throw up. I motioned for a nurse and told her I was gonna be sick. I thought she’d immediately unhook me and let me go – but no!  She cranked the head of my cot down and then down some more until I was almost standing on my head. All I could think was, I’m gonna up-chuck and, lying upside down like this, I’ll choke to death!

Doesn’t anyone care?

Everything was a little out of focus but I couldn’t forget about my daughter lying over there. I wonder how she’s doing? I kept thinking.

Then, suddenly, she was standing beside me. And a nurse appeared and told me I was finished and started helping me up. Relief!

She said, “Please go into the next room and have some wafers and orange juice and sit for a while before you leave.” We nodded.

As we walked out, my daughter said dryly, “You were right, Mother. It was a piece of cake. Nuthin’ to it!”

I never gave blood again!

 

The Music Isn't There

There was a time when I was young that life was oh, so grand

I’m sure I wasn’t worthy of such a perfect hand

I walked along the seashore, the moonlight on my hair

I woke at dawn and laughed and sang, I didn’t have a care. 

The world spun round for me alone, and all good things were mine

I thought that it would never change, life always would be fine.

But I don’t have to tell you ~ you know as well as I

Good things don’t last forever, we sometimes have to cry. 

One day there came into my life a special kind of friend

I thought of nothing day and night but spending time with him

He said he'd love me always, and never would depart

Then he grew bored and went away, shattering my heart. 

And now, I walk along the shore, the moonlight on my hair

I wake at dawn but when I sing, the music isn’t there;

Neither is there laughter, nor does the world still twirl

Nothing good is left for me; I’m just a lonely girl. 

                                                                      ~ ©1998pth

                                 

 

The Sixth Month

June, named after Juno, the goddess of marriage, is the sixth month of the year, and is one of the four months with a length of 30 days. Just like the month of May, no other month begins on the same day as June. This is also the month with the longest daylight hours of the year.

 

June's birthstones are the Alexandrite, the Moonstone, and the Pearl. Its birth flowers are the honeysuckle and the rose.

 

Those born before June 20th are considered Gemini and those born after June 21st are under the sign of Cancer.

 Famous Birthdays: 

June 1--Marilyn Monroe (1926) 

June 2—Brent Miller

June 9--Johnny Depp (1963) 

June 11--Hugh Laurie (1959) 

June 16--Diana DeGarmo (1987) Singer

               Denise Stanley (1962) Writer

               Erich Segal (1937) Author and screenwriter of "Love Story."

               Joyce Carol Oates (1938) Author

               Stan Laurel (1890) Actor 

June 18--Paul McCartney (1942) 

June 21—Lee Horton 

June 22--Meryl Streep (1949) 

June 23—Chase Gunnoe 

June 25--George Orwell (1903) 

June 26--Derek Jeter (1974) 

June 27--Bob (Captain Kangaroo) Keeshan (1927) 

June 30—Carson Gunnoe 
 

 

Events in June: 

Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee - Celebration of the Queen of England's 60 year reign. 

 Adur Festival - The annual arts event in West Essex, England runs the first two weeks of June. 

National Rocky Road Day  

Applesauce Cake Day - June 6th. 

Father's Day - First Sunday in June.

Kamehameha Day - June 11th is a Hawaiian state holiday honoring the first ruler of the one-time kingdom. 

Flag Day - June 14th commemorates the adoption of the American Flag. 

Eat Your Vegetables Day - June 17th. 

Go Skateboarding Day - Celebrated on June 21.  

Kitchen Klutzes of America Day - June 23rd. (That’s me!) 

Icelandic folklore says that bathing naked in the morning dew on June 24th will keep aging at bay. (Worth a try!) 

National Chocolate Pudding Day - June 26th. 

 

June is: 

Audiobook Month 

Flag Month 

National Dairy Month 

National Candy Month 

National Hunger Awareness Month 

National Seafood Month 

National Iced Tea Month

 

I Don't Believe I Know Him

I loved the song!

 

I’d heard it on the radio for weeks but couldn’t seem to catch the name of it. Or the singer’s name. Every time the song played, I listened carefully, but the DJs weren’t bothering with titles or artists.

 

And then I got lucky.

 

One evening while I was preparing dinner, I heard the familiar song. When it went off, I stood very still, not moving a muscle so I’d hear if the name and artist were mentioned. And sure enough, they were!

 

However, the title rolled off the DJ’s tongue so fast I didn’t catch it, but I did get the singer’s name. I distinctly heard… “by Harold Smith.”

 

Quickly writing it down, I said aloud, “That’s enough! I can buy the CD now.”

 

A few days later, while at the mall, I went into the first music store I saw. First, I looked through a rack of CDs hoping to find it myself. But I couldn’t find anything by Harold Smith.

 

I’m just in the wrong section, I thought, and as I started walking to another aisle, a young man stopped me. “May I help you find something, Ma’am?” he said. “I’m looking for a song by Harold Smith,” I told him.

Hesitating, he said, "Hmmm, I don't believe I know him. What's the name of the song?"

“That’s just it,” I said, “I don’t know. But it’s popular. I hear it on the radio every day.”

 

“Do you know any of it?" he said, “how does it go?”

 

“I can’t sing, but it starts with, ‘I could stay awake just to hear you breathin’,” I told him.

 

A strange look came over this young man’s face and I could see he was struggling to keep from laughing, but then he said, “Ma’am, I think you want, I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing, by Aerosmith.”

 

It took a few seconds for my brain to process what he’d said but it finally started to sink in…

 

Harold Smith. Aerosmith. Of course! Giggling nervously, I told him I’d take the CD, paid for it, thanked him and left, feeling quite stupid! I never went back to that particular music store again. Would you?

 

That evening, when I told my family what I’d done, they had a good laugh at my expense and I was sorry I'd mentioned it.

 

Sometimes I’m my own worst enemy!

 

It’s been several years since I made that blunder, but do you think they’ve forgotten it?

 

Not a chance!

 

Someone is always asking me if Harold Smith has recorded anything new lately.

 

 

Happy Birthday!

I suppose none of us ever stop thinking about our mother, do we? My mother has been gone for almost nine years, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep her off my mind this week. You see, her birthday was Monday.

She loved birthdays! A friend once said of her, “She seems more like a child than an adult.”

At times, she did.

She lived 85 years, and right up until her last birthday, just a month before she died, I, her only child, made a big deal of her special day.

She was in the hospital that last birthday. I took cupcakes, ice cream and soft drinks, and, with a little help, was able to serve it to her, several of her grandchildren, and a special friend. She had a lot of presents to open and, just like a child, she was so excited she had trouble getting them opened without help.

I’ll never forget the look on her face as she sat up in bed surrounded by colorful ribbons and paper and gifts. A four year old couldn’t have looked any more pleased than my mother did at that moment. Yet, knowing this was almost certainly her last birthday made it a bittersweet occasion. I excused myself long enough to go to the restroom and wipe away the tears I was unable to repress.

Four weeks later, she passed away, without ever enjoying any of her new gifts.

This is one of those memories that delivers pleasure and sadness at the same time. Remembering how she looked on her birthday brings a smile to my lips, but realizing I'll never see her like that again quickly takes it away.

Like love and hate, pleasure and pain seem very close sometimes.