Today is my mother’s birthday. I never
forget. How could I?
She loved birthdays – perhaps even more
than Christmas – and that was a lot! Just
like a child, she’d be so excited! On the morning of her birthday, she’d wake
up early, get all cleaned up, don something special and then she’d sit down
with a pot of coffee or iced tea and wait for her big day to unfold.
And it always unfolded in a way she
enjoyed. Not one person who knew my mother would have disappointed her on her
birthday. Why, it would have been like disappointing a six-year old!
When my dad was living, he always lavished
her with gifts, chocolates and flowers – and he usually took her out to dinner
at a nice restaurant.
Since I was an only child, my children were
her only grandchildren. I taught them early that their grandmother’s birthday
was a very special occasion and they never forgot. She adored them and they
her.
She lived 85 years, and right up until
her last birthday, just a month before she died, we made a big deal of "her" day.
She was in a Rehab Center. I took cupcakes, ice cream and soft drinks, and, with a little help,
was able to serve it to her, several of her grandchildren, and a special
friend. She had a lot of presents to open and, like a child, she was so
excited she had trouble getting them opened without help.
I’ll never forget the look on her face as
she sat up in bed surrounded by colorful ribbons and paper and gifts. A four
year old couldn’t have looked any more pleased than my mother did at that
moment. Yet, knowing this was almost certainly her last birthday made it a
bittersweet occasion. I excused myself long enough to go to the restroom and
wipe away tears I was unable to hold back.
Four weeks later, she passed away, without
ever enjoying any of her new gifts.
This is one of those memories that delivers
pleasure and sadness at the same time. Remembering how she looked on her
birthday brings a smile to my lips, but realizing I'll never see her
like that again quickly takes it away.
Like love and hate, pleasure and pain
seem very close sometimes.
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