Sunday, October 19, 2014

Looking for a Hairpin?


While rearranging my closet yesterday, I ran across an old purse that I hadn’t used for a long time and was just about to put it with my other often used handbags when I noticed that it had a small tear right on the front of it. So out it went into the throw-away pile.
You’re probably wondering why I didn’t throw it away when it got torn instead of throwing it back in my closet, aren’t you? Well, that’s the kind of person I am. I can’t bear to throw things away that I like or that I think someone else might use. Call me a keeper. A pack-rat.
Hoarder! 
I have trouble getting rid of things. Mr. H. often remarks that he’s glad I’m like that ‘cause if I weren’t, he might have been gone a long time ago. He’s jesting, of course!  J
Anyhoo, the purse was going now. But first, I had to look through all of the things I’d left in it when I relegated it to the back of the closet.
Mr. H. said, “Why don’t you just throw all that trash away with the purse?”
“Well, that would be silly,” I said. “You know I sometimes find a $20. bill hidden in a zippered compartment of a purse.” Who knows why or when I put them there? Or why I forget about them? But it has happened a few times.”
So I sat down and started taking things out of the purse. I actually did find money: a dime and four pennies – a grand total of 14 cents! Won’t even buy a pack of gum!
Ah, but it was fascinating checking out the things that had been in that old purse for a number of years.
I found:
A cough drop, two packages of Sweet’N Low, a tea bag, a wash and dry “moist disposable towel,” a rubber band, an emery board, (never know when you’ll need one), a mascara wand, an empty prescription bottle – dated 11/29/07, a red and white striped paper clip, an unfilled prescription for some kind of eye drops – can’t read the doctor’s writing, two plastic forks, two knives, a spoon, two napkins and a plastic straw, (you should always be prepared to eat a meal should one be offered), a “save $10. coupon on your next purchase of $50 at Elder-Beerman – valid until 1/4/09,” a voided check to Wal-Mart for $30.97 – dated Dec. 22, 2006, a Poca UMC Joy/Concern Offering Slip, a small address book (none of the numbers are still valid), a receipt from Nitro Supermarket – dated 6/14/06, and last – and also least, a rubber-tipped bobby pin (hairpin). I was excited about this item. It wasn’t so long ago that I looked everywhere for just one hairpin to hold an errant strand of hair away from my face. But there didn’t seem to be one in the house.
Little did I know.
You just never know what’s lurking in your old purses. Take an hour and check them out. Even if you don’t find a forgotten $20. bill or anything else of value, you’ll at least have a laugh or two, stir up some memories...
And be reminded of how quickly the years disappear.
 

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Learning a New Trick


 
For a long time now, Mr. H. and I have wondered: what is all the hullaballoo about cell phones? Everywhere you go – to the mall, grocery store, or just taking a walk in your neighborhood, you pass people – youngsters and adults alike - with their heads down, looking at a little device in their hands called a “smart phone.” Some will look up long enough to smile or say, “Hi” but others never look up –  don't even see you. One wonders why they don’t run into trees or telephone poles, or walk in front of moving vehicles.
“What are they doing?” you ask.
Texting!
It seems that literally everyone is so caught up in texting that they can’t go anywhere without their texting device. If you suggest to a family member or friend that she might leave her smart phone behind while the two of you go shopping, you’re told in no uncertain terms, “I couldn’t do that! “Someone may try to reach me.”
When did everyone become so important?
I remember a day when you could be gone from home from daylight till dusk and never receive a phone call. Texting wasn’t even a reality then. If there were any important events that you needed to hear about, you heard about them when you returned. And the world went right on turning. Most everything could wait until you got home.
Although there was that one time that my youngest daughter called the Sears store she knew I’d be shopping in, and had me paged to tell me she was in the ER because she had cut her hand badly while washing a glass! When my name was called on the PA system, followed by the message, “Call your daughter immediately,” I must admit, I panicked! However, by the time I got to the ER, she’d been taken care of, which proved that she could have handled it without giving her mother heart failure!
Nobody even knew what a smart phone was then!
~~~
Now that I’ve had my rant, it’s confession time. Five days ago, I became the proud(?) owner of a Smart Phone!
It wasn’t something I needed – or even wanted, for that matter, but for the past year, my grown children have been complaining because their mother was “out of the loop!” In order to communicate with me, they had to pick up a phone, push a button and wait for me to answer – and give up at least twenty minutes of their precious time to talk. Sometimes they could get away with e-mailing, but even that took time away from other things they’d rather be doing.
What an inconvenience!
I’m not dissing my children. Really, I’m not! They’re kind, generous, caring children – and I love them dearly! I understand that times have changed drastically in the past ten to twenty years.
But everyone is so busy these days. I’d give half my life if I could pick up a phone and talk to my mother for twenty minutes. Or five!
Ah, well, as the saying goes, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!” So that’s what I’m trying to do. I say “trying” because this texting thing is not as easy as it looks! I type every day on the computer with no trouble at all, but have you ever really looked at the size of one of those keyboards on the new phones? They’re tiny! My fingers just don’t fit. Most of my words come out looking like “mstz[p or xtorn’t” The first time I tried to show off my texting ability to my daughter, I wrote, “Loo” (Lol) and “This iw fim” (This is fun).
Trying to sign off with my son, I typed, “Lat” the first time, “Latre” the second time and, while I was working on the third try, he helped me out by writing, “Later.”
“Yeah, tha’st it!” I wrote.
So, as you can see, it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks, but they all tell me to keep practicing. “You’ll get it,” they say.
And I text back, “I hopr yor rigjt!”
 

Friday, October 10, 2014

Anyone for Skinny Dipping?

 
A friend of mine and her husband live in a house with a private pool. It’s enclosed with screen and has a seven foot privacy fence all around it, so her husband thought nothing of it one recent warm morning, when he stepped out of his pajama bottoms and into the pool as naked as the day he was born.
“Ah, how refreshing!” Jon said to his wife when she entered the screened-in enclosure, coffee cup in-hand. Just as she was about to get comfortable on a chair beside the pool and sip her coffee, he said, “C’mon in. The water’s great!”
Looking around, Jean said, “I don’t know. What if someone sees us?”
“How? It's totally private here. It’s not possible.”
So Jean got up from her chair, smiled as she untied her robe and, letting it fall from her shoulders, stepped into the pool.
“How right you are!” she said. “It’s wonderful!” Then she turned around and swam to the other end of the pool and stood up. Looking back toward Jon, she was horrified to see that on the roof of the house next door, there was a man looking down at her. She felt her face flush and quickly swam toward Jon.
“Look,” she said softly, “Someone’s on the neighbor’s roof. He can see us!”
Jon laughed and said, “You want to go inside?”
“No way!” she said. “I’m not coming out of the water until he gets off the roof!”
“What difference does it make? He’s already seen us.”
“You go in if you want, but I’m staying right here until he’s gone!”
"Okay," said Jon, and, after enjoying the warm water a few more minutes, he got out and hurried inside. 
I don’t know how long Jean stayed in the water, but scuttlebutt has it that Jon’s bowling team enjoyed the story that evening -- especially the part about the man staying on the roof for more than two hours -- not even coming down for a lunch break.


Friday, October 3, 2014

What I Love

 
WHAT I LOVE

 Can’t paint a charming portrait
Or sing a lilting song
But I can tell you what I love
If you’d like to tag along.
 
I love a cool crisp morning
When autumn comes around
The twinkling of an early frost
And leaves upon the ground.
 
An azure sky excites my senses,
A pumpkin wet with dew
A sunny, cloudless afternoon
A field of cornstalks, too.
 
When mountains are emblazoned
With colors warm and bright
Their splendor can’t be hidden
Even from the night.

As autumn leaves are falling
Each one a different shade
Who wouldn’t marvel at the sight
Our wondrous God has made?
 
It emerges early in October
This awe-inspiring view
I love it, oh, so very much
I hope you love it, too!
~~~ 

     Some of you already know the poem from Sweet Whispers of Youth, but I don't see any reason not to use it again since it's October again!